before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
