Grow some girl-balls and come out already
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
