what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
