He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
