Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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