yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
