I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
