Don't you send me to vm
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
