Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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