i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My vagina is officially offended.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
