Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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