just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Do vagina's smell?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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