protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My bed smells like the plague
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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