Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
