ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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