Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
