playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize