So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
