Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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