Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
