No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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