After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize