I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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