Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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