We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
