the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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