you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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