is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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