What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
