I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
