You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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