well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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