my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
