he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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