dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
