Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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