everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
