ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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