someone owes me an orgasm
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
