I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize