Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
