chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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