we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
