guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
