did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
