You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
BRING THE BAGELS
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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