sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The cops high fived after they tackled you
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
