You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize