its not stalking. its research.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
