Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
