Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
