I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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