I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have aggressive nipples.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
