Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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