I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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