Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
