Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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