Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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