I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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