Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
