Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
