I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
